Whether you are dating, engaged, newly married, or married with children, splitting holiday time between both sets of parents/in-laws can be a tricky, sometimes difficult, area of contention in a relationship. Everyone wants to be with loved ones for the holidays so it it important to openly discuss this, be understanding, and come to a mutual, equally satisfactory consensus. This Throwback Thursday from November 26, 2010 gives some great advice on doing just that!
Splitting Your Holiday Time Between In-Laws
Photography by: Swensen Photography
Now that you’re engaged you may have discussed with your fiance how to split your time with each family during the holidays. If not you may want to do so. This can be a touchy subject for some but it doesn’t have to be. Family time should be fun for everyone & for both your family & the in laws. If it isn’t, try to make it that way.
Here are some tips & ideas on how to make it work for everyone.
1. Take turns~Whether it is switching off years – one year at your family & the next year at the in laws. Or if you are close enough to share the day with both families then by all means share the love. Some girls feel that they should spend more time with their family rather than the in-laws. Let me just say that is a little selfish & your man wants to spend time with his family too. So be fair & discuss with your families what will work out best for everyone. In my family we discussed with both sides & coordinated so all our siblings can be together every other year. It has worked out great so far. And sometimes you can even host and have both sides together at once. That is always a great time.
2. Talk it out~If there are family issues that need to be handled, talk them out. Don’t slide them under the rug wishing they would go away, because they won’t. You have to make things happen & that means talking out the issues. Do it respectfully & discuss your feelings without demeaning or attacking the other party. Often times feelings get hurt over silly reasons that just shouldn’t happen. If apologizing is necessary then by all means do apologize. But don’t apologize if you aren’t sincere. Correct it & don’t do it again.
3. Share Traditions~ One of the best ways to overcome a negative family situation is to share in the family traditions. Get involved & let the in-laws know that you care about them & their family & their son or daughter that you will marry. If you want to be part of their family then you need to share in their traditions. Find out what they are & how you can be part of it. It may seem like a little thing but it could really mean a lot to them.
4. Create New Traditions~ Here comes the fun part. Creating new traditions with your soon to be family is always fun. You may want to take a few traditions from both sides of the family & add in a couple new ones as well. Your traditions will change as your little family grows as well. Keep in mind what kind of traditions you will have as you have children of your own. In my opinion that is by far the best part of the holiday season. Sharing time & traditions with your loved ones.
5. Enjoy Family Time~ Have fun together & enjoy the time together. Talking, playing games, eating or whatever you may do as a family just enjoy that time together. Time goes by so quickly & enjoying those special family times will be memories you can treasure & pass on to your own children one day.
Photography by: Swensen Photography
